Wonderment

First... I have a migraine that feels like it's ready to burst out of my skull and eyes, so I'm going to make this as quick as possible so I can curl up in bed.

okay. Lately, I have been letting some friends and professors I haven't seen in a bit know my current status of career pick: author. You know, if I'm good enough, that sounds like a fun and exciting way to make a living, AND having a small degree to get me a nice job. But um...
instead of getting a nice pat on the back or a thumbs up like "hey, i'm glad you found a niche to pursue"..... everyone is looking at me like I'm throwing my life away. Yes, I had big plans to go to UVa and pursue a masters in Astro-Physics. I still plan to do that... but not now. There are people who say "oh, I'll go back" and never do. But me..... I did an internship with the top physicist/astronomer at UVa for something like a year, collectively, going up a mountain at 3am and observing planets and stars and moving a huge telescope and.... all that amazing stuff. I am not about to throw away the experience I had. I'm just..... tired. from class and summer school to counteract how badly my schedule messed me up, i havent NOT been studying since before senior year in high school.... and im just completing my 2nd year in college. Kathleen is tired. But I want and WILL go back to school to get a masters. I will NOT be happy until I do. I love science and astronomy in particular. I would never give that up.

but of course, no one believes me. Even if I didn't pursue it in the future, you would think people would be happy for me and support my decision. Of course, with or without them, I'm going to be an author, period. but tell me I'm not crazy.... it's a little insulting to be looked at and for people to tell me "you won't succeed without a bachelor's at the least..."

my dad never went to college and has had a successful business since 1972.
explain that. :)



finally... sorry that was so long..... i think I found my friend! from middle school. I lost touch with him after he was kicked out of school (for reasons I still don't know)... and even thought a few years ago he passed away... and i finally saw him. he walked by me... and i was so scared, I just went with my classmates to the back of the library.... and when i finally worked up the courage to go say hi.... he was gone.....
I don't think anyone understands how important it is that I find him again and talk to him... he quite literally saved my life in middle school.
no matter how hard I try.. I will never be able to forget him. and I won't rest until I find him again.
its been 6 years, but there hasn't been a day I haven't thought about him or where he was...

I'm pathetic.