hide and seek

"where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads - heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first..."



what started as just a song for laughs with some friends.
and now i truly appreciate it's worth.
such a lovely song...
to me :)

i think...

there's something wrong with what you said.
it sorta hurt to see it.....
i never say shit when you're being a complete bitch.
i try to help.

that really hurt.
made me wonder if you really meant what you said saturday.

life is very short

and there's no time for fussing and fighting [my friends].
i have always thought that it's a crime
so i will ask you once again...

try to see it my way.
only time we'll tell anybody's if I'm right or I am wrong.
why d'you to see it your way.
there's a chance that we may fall apart before too long.

we can work it out.


Good song.
love me some Beatles.
hate me some stupid assholes :DDDD

I'm ready

to go back.

But first, we need to be there for Dad.

until then...
I can only be optimistic. :]

It had to be Done

Today, I had to leave my place in the UVa Cavalier Marching Band.
It was, without a doubt, one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
But my place is needed at home, as Dad approaches surgery.
I'm pretty sure it was more than the weight of my bags that I left with this morning.
I know this is what I have to do... but I hope that after surgery, he'll recover quickly, and I'll be able to go back to the family I belong to.
I'm sorry that I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone... but this morning, I left discreetly, hoping my absence would go unnoticed, and that I'd be back tonight... which will not be happening...for now.

I've never felt so completely torn apart.

I guess this is what I get for not looking forward to bandcamp.
I'm such a fool.

I...

already miss everyone so much it hurts.
but my place is elsewhere tonight.
im sorry...

imma stick the key in the ignition

and go home.
forreal.
fuck this mood.

band camp...

is already boring me.
i'm fighting through the sweat and aches to help my body and to strengthen myself.
but...
I already feel as left out as ever... and nothing's really happened.

what's wrong with me feeling this shitty?
why am I feeling this way?

I'm already regretting coming back.
I'm regretting everything.
And this is not how this summer is going to end.
Yeah, I hate how i go to bed with a bad/hurting shoulder...
i hate how my legs refuse to heal for me, despite the fact that I've done WAY worse work than what I put forth all year here.
i hate being so nervous to be with everyone... my so called family.

i miss the days where i knew everyone, could laugh, be myself.
I'm not myself around these people.
and i let everything seem so much worse than it all really is.

it sucks.
I hate who i am when I'm here...
and if this continues, this will be my last year.

after 7 straight years of marching...
im ready to take my life back.
im ready to try new things.
im ready to have that extra 2 hours for homework.
im ready to have a real, full summer.
im ready to move on.

im ready to go home.


and everyone... even myself... was right...
it only took one glance.

Meteor Shower Take 1

After really fast news, I randomly hopped in my car at 1am and drove to Kyle's house to lay out in a fricken cold, uncomfortable coldisac [sp].

it was the wildest, craziest night.
It was fun :]

2 more days till band camp.

oh goodie.........

I...

have so much to do in so little time.
band camp check-in for me is in 4 days.
I haven't heard a word from the Title guys about my march request.
I probably freaked them out haha.
wouldn't be surprised... I asked a lot out of them.........
but hey, if they were to accept, how would I feel if I HADN'T asked, you know?

anyway, pretty sure I'll be going on a dinner "date" with a friend before camp starts, hopefully.
so we'll see what happens there.

Sweet

I gots my hurr cut today haha.
Actually, I just got bangs added. I'm trying to grow out my hair, but I wanted to add to it. It was boring, so... took a chance on it.
and I like it :]

Also, may go on a date soon :D
it's pretty cooool

Well Gee.

This sucks.

A lot.
Like nobody's business.
too bad it's too private to say say.

I am going to be miserable at band camp.
heat, stress....... on top of stupid doctors and stupid past things.

ng.
I need a hug...
since all my friends have been not around to give me one. :/

CherryBlossom Shimmers

Random title, right?
right.

anyway, I am now a proud owner of an acoustic guitar.
It was being sold for $165, but the guy gave it to me for $100, which was great.
I'm not too worried about how great it is..... I mean, I am, but you know.
It's only my first guitar.
and if I ever decide to get a better quality one, I will.
I've been practicing everyday at least twice, pulling it out of the case and just playing around with the chords I already learned.
I'm also taking online lessons...
and I tuned it by myself today!! yay!
it was great :D
thanks to band, I can tune by ear, but I will probably invest in a tuner anyway.... no big.

and that is all.
I'm not looking to be the next great guitarist.
I just want to be able to play some chords and sing a song, you know?

the simpliest things can have the sweetest rewards ^_^