Saturday, October 4, 2008

You know things are desperately wrong...

when you're fighting like I am.
So many problems.
Right now, my family and I have no money.
we are minus in the bank accounts and without work.
We can't pay our bills.
We can't go and buy gas tomorrow.
I'm stuck here in my room until gas can get into the cars.
I've got to be able to get a paycheck.
If I don't, I'm scared to know what will happen.

I am applying to 4 jobs at the moment, trying to get something in one of them.
I've got to get work somehow.
I've got to make money.

I'm so frightened.
I don't want to lose the house.
I don't want to lose the cars.
my life.
I'm so frightened for the sake of my parents.
and myself.
I feel myself slipping into dangerous thoughts more and more each day.
I'm so frightened for myself.

I keep thinking about the accident from 2006.
I'm so afraid of what will happen to me.
No one wants to help us.
We're going to keep trying, but who has $1800 for us to pay the mortgage?

I can't stop the tears from falling.
I try to hold strong.
but I can't.
It's so hard.
I can't do anything fast enough.

I'm only 19.
I want to be able to live through this into the future.

isn't there anyone out there who can help us?

No comments: