Saturday, March 28, 2009

just because

To be loved, to be loved
What more could you ask for?
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone wants to be loved
To be loved
What more could you ask for?
To be loved, to be loved
Everyone…

I'm not in love
This is not my heart
I'm not gonna waste these words

I love this song!!
just had to share :)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

It is on this day

that I am 20.
and to make my first post of my non-teenness interesting, here's a list of what I hope to do this year to better myself.

1. Discover and/or uncover the few males out there who are all for love (no pun intended to one of my only watchers :P)
2. To put myself out there in the job market and really make a splash.
3. Save something... animal, friend, hair from my head..... you name it.
4. Leave some sort of mark on someone, anyone, to better my flow of love in directions other than those whom have benefited to so long (but of course, I'll continue to shower them with everything I have)
5. Do something big for my parents.
and finally....


learn as much as I can about myself.
^_^

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My mind is like a roller coaster

and so are some other things.
but for now.
we're back on the happy, fun curves and off the dreaded evil bore of straight tracking.

sure. lol

15 hours and 12 minutes til meh birthday!

Monday, March 16, 2009

burst into flames

once again, I go to bed crying.
and you don't care.
you don't even acknowledge me as a person.
just some annoyance that expresses care in your direction.

if you're my friend, tell me.
its not my fault you think you're better than everyone else.

Just a Quick Quote

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”
-Friedrich Nietzsche


Excellent.
I just had to share it.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Always there

I have the sweetest friend around.
whether he knows it or not.. he was there for me today.
I'll never be able to thank him enough.


also..
i need to go to Chile and give a 4 year long hug to a guy named Sebastian.
so dut dut, let's go. I need to now. :)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

when things are up, they're down

I got my internet back. yay. It wasn't me, it was the box down the road.
that's good news.

bad news.
the mortgage company doesn't want our 6grand payment for our house.
the hell I'm leaving it.
what good are lawyers and bankruptcy laws when everyone's going to suck the life out of us anyway?

I think I'd prefer a kiss from a dementor to this hell.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ode to You

There was once a time, a boy I knew.
We talked on every day.
We laughed and played and it was great.
That's more than I can say.
On the phone, we used to chat
and talk for hours too.
We grew quite close, or so I thought.
(That's how I think of you.)

And up you went, you disappeared.
I didn't know what to do.
But still a loyal friend I was.
I always wrote to you.
The fourth day, the second month,
a card, I sent by mail.
To let you know I was still there.
But always, did I fail.

The cards came back, the thoughts astray.
I thought the worst for years.
But through those years, I never stopped.
I wouldn't accept those fears.

Upon stroke of luck, your face I saw.
The brother, I mistook.
So I made signs, "PLEASE FRIEND OF MINE",
Please read and take a look.
My plan was good, I found once more
the one I thought was you.
He helped me out, I thanked him then,
and to my home, I flew.

I found your name, I wrote to you.
But letter, did you deny.
I understand, I really do.
But just answer me this: why?
I remember back, back in those days.
your words at half past 3.
"Please don't do it, I really care.
You're like a sister to me."

So all I ask is that you think,
please listen when I say
that I have not forgotten you.
Those words stalk me today.
I never lied, I meant it then.
My words, I remember, too.
"Dear friend, you've been so kind to me,
and for that, do I thank you."

Dear friend, these words I write in hopes
that you will lay eyes on.
Would I so write something so clear
If I had wanted you gone?
I still care, I still remember
the thoughtful things you'd said.
And all I ask, on this cold day
is the hope that you have read.

I finish now, on this last verse.
It's corny, yes... and no.
But I've only wanted to see you.
I only wanted to know.
I cannot stress how deeply glad
I am to have found you.
but this is not enough, you see.
I wish you'll talk to me, too.

Monday, March 9, 2009

unequal

sickness + spring break = ?

? = NOT EQUAL!

>:(
boooo

hopeless?

he's not going to write back is he.......
why?

all I ever did for 6 years was care.
tf I don't deserve a reply

Thursday, March 5, 2009

you'll never read this

but I have to ask as a personal ventilation exercise.
what happens when you need help or someone to talk to?
I help.
or talk to you.
i don't want to see you sad.

what happens when I need help or someone to talk to?
you're busy.
you "don't do that"
you turn away.





my heart breaks everytime I heal yours.

SUCCESS!

I FOUND MY FRIEND!


TBC.....

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I miss my friend.
I want to talk to him.
but I don't know how.
I don't even know where he is.
and it kills me to know it's my fault I lost my chance.



But who here would ever understand
That the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin
Would tire of his crown, if they only understood
He'd give it all up if he only could

Oh, there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears